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Vaishali BK
This is part 2 of the Toilet Learning series. Part This is part 2 of the Toilet Learning series. Part 1 is a couple of posts before this. I personally know families who choose to do EC from birth, some who potty trained by 1st birthday, some who wait until 4 years of age, some children need assistance post 6 years, and they've all chosen what was right for them considering beliefs, time, resources, people support, etc. So, excuse that very click-baity question in the image. Here is what we believe and do in our family. Myelinization is a process by which involuntary movements become controlled, and bladder and sphincter control in babies usually happens around 1 year+, when they start walking confidently. The sensitive period for toilet learning starts somewhere between 12-18months. This does NOT mean the child should be independently eliminating by then. It merely means that at this age they may be aware and interested in the process. We look out for signs of readiness such as - Refusing to lie down for diaper changes and wanting to stand up - Going longer periods with dry diapers - Curiosity about toilets. - Looking down at their private parts while peeing. - Signalling for a diaper change - Going to a particular spot or seeking privacy when peeing/ pooping And we support the child's desire to learn by preparing their environment, being a prepared adult, and observing the child. We collaborate with the child. But did it just start here? There is a lot of invisible work in terms of language, movement and independence we do even before this. It began with a dedicated diaper changing corner and respectful communication during diaper changes from infancy. More on this invisible work that we subconsciously do, in the next post. Remember, each child is different. V and V2 are so different despite the environment and us being similar. Every family is different. Our priorities and challenges are different. To sum up, there is no universal right age to this gradual process. My right may not be right for you, and vice versa. Do not let anyone else's voice interfere with what you observe about your child. :) . . #ammatoday
Our playroom had to be closed by early July due to Our playroom had to be closed by early July due to a termite infestation. "So what if our shelf is inaccessible", I thought, "I still have a thoughtfully prepared home." By the second week we had to empty out all our wardrobes and storage for pest control, so we had the bare minimum of clothes, utensils and books for use, and there were boxes everywhere- so so triggering for me. (We still have 4 boxes to unpack and organize as I type this) . We had minimal access to our balconies because of the rains. And poof! Went our prepared environment. Between that and other things happening on the home front, I was anxious about V and V2, and some of you asked how they were holding up. Surpeisingly, they did exactly what we've been doing everyday- be a part of our family life: eat, play, do chores with us, fight and make up, with joy. They learnt about spatial arrangements for optimum packing, folowing step by step processes during organizing, soooo much language (gosh! so much talk), plenty of sorting, termite lifecycles, lots about bugs, wood types, garbage segregation, and cleaning agents. About what to do when bored and that stories are what make the world. And the most about managing big feelings and self-regulation. I learnt that even when overwhelmed, my mind was calm enough to notice that V was in the sensitive period for writing (assigned her labeling work which she did with joy) Or that V2 was in transporting schema (best packing assistant ever). But most of all, I learnt that when a child is treated as a valuable member of the family, is used to independence, collaboration and is aware of safe limits, they can do wonderful things. They construct their own learning, they trust themselves, adapt to difficult situations and support us. If I've not said it enough, montessori is so much more than the shelf, the prepared environment and even the prepared adult. It is an aid to live life. If you're someone getting overwhelmed with the shelfies and materials on Instagram (including my own), here is your reminder that you don't need any of those to be a montessori parent. :) . . #ammatoday
The Prepared Adult: Protecting your peace edition The Prepared Adult: Protecting your peace edition As a first time mum, I found myself lost in the noise within as well as outside. But mostly I was conscious of feeling drained. Not physically exhausted but drained of my energy within, if you know what I mean. I took stock and realized my energy is a precious resource. Not everyone or everything needs access to it. I wrote down the three most important things in my life that I have control over and drew a sacred boundary around it to protect it. Here are some ways I protect my time, energy and thoughts. 1. Say no gracefully and unapologetically. We are culturally taught that there is shame or guilt attached to refusing. In fact, saying no when you don't want to do something, sets you free. 2. Unfollow anyone on social media (or real life🙈) if they deplete your energy or make your mind think intrusive thoughts. Decide how much time you give to social media, for work, for leisure and to people. 3. Take time to replenish your energy in pockets of time through the day. A quick cup of coffee, a peek in the mirror to say "you're amazing", a 5 second head massage, a scented candle (or a quick book-sniff) are things I do that don't take too much time. They aren't hard either, but every time I do it, I'm reminded that I matter. 4. Choosing. Not every unsolicited advice/ opinion, argument, social media post, etc deserves my attention right away. We don't need to have the last word, or explain our choices or convince others. That is not our job. Sometimes we need to peacefully walk away from triggers. Or like CH,leave quietly. 🙈 5. Watching my thoughts. Anxiety is a firm friend of mine, and watching what I'm thinking helps me keep my mind a happy space, and be present. Remember we can't control everything. But we can choose how much time and energy we give to what we can't control. Tell me, what is your top precious resource you're drawing a boundary around today? And how are you going to protect it? . . #ammatoday #ammatoday_preparedadult
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