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Vaishali BK
Limits & Boundaries: Part 8 How often have you se Limits & Boundaries: Part 8 How often have you set a boundary with someone for them to just completely disregard it, or worse, make it completely about them? I have! Not just with family but also, mom friends. Most of us were never taught about boundaries, because the adults around us were not allowed to have boundaries themselves. But I'm learning along with my children. We've spoken so much about holding our boundaries in the previous posts, here I want to shine the light on respecting our children's boundaries. Because they go hand in hand. Our children learn that they are allowed to have physical, boundaries when we respect them. Some ways to do that would be - Respecting body autonomy of an infant by describing what we do with the child Eg: I'm going to change your diaper now. Let's lift your legs and place a clean diaper here. - Asking for consent before physical affection with ourselves, or towards other family members. Eg. May I kiss you, please? Would you like to hug grandma? No? You could wave to her instead. - Giving space for children to enter socially demanding situations like the playground/ weddings at their own pace. - Respecting older children's privacy and space by not intruding on their personal journals or conversations. It all boils down to respecting our child's right to say "NO". Remember, boundaries aren't about keeping people out. But about what you accept when they come in. It is a circle you draw around what is sacred to you. I hope this series was helpful. Will also add this to Guides section of my profile. I only started respecting my own boundaries seriously, after becoming a parent of two, and while life has not been more peaceful, my circle of peace has been more accessible to me. I hope you find and keep it alive. . . #ammatoday #ammatoday_parenting
Background: V is 5 & we recently introduced sh, ch Background: V is 5 & we recently introduced sh, ch diagraphs. There is an app that came highly recommended with a diagraph section in it. Decided to show it to V to see what she thought. She watched the whole video- about 5 minutes & handed it back to me. Me- Well, what did you think? V- It was boring ma. Me- Really, Why was it boring? V- Why are the letters having eyes, nose and dancing? Do letters ever dance? Also that story they said was so boring. They could have given all words having -sh to read and made a different interesting story. They used only -sh words in that story & made it so boring. Me- You know what, you're absolutely right! I had thought it will be practice because we are reading -sh words now. V- Yes ma, let's read those words in the book and watch songs on the app. That's more interesting. Here's a thought! We take phonics classes, teach our children these letters, sounds and the alphabet, make elaborate aids & stories to teach them. Sometimes we lose our tempers while trying to teach the child leading to arguments. May be, just may be, if we do all the groundwork (in this case, rich experiences, lots of conversation to give her a desire to communicate, and sound games) , & wait until the child shows the drive to learn, we'll be making life much easier. The child with a keen sense to learn language, finds language as it is, without all the masala that we add, fascinating. As I write this, V is busy writing me a stern letter on why she thinks we need to have kulfi today.😬 Yes, most mainstream schools do not wait for readiness & have fixed curricula and sometimes, unrealistic expectations of our children. But, if you have the means to wait, please wait. It is a disservice to the child to ask of them to learn something when they're not ready. But more important, you're foregoing yourself the joy & privilege of watching your child's discovery of language. It's perfectly okay if you choose to do all to do this at 2,or 3 or 7. I write this because I think, in an ocean of phonics classes ads, we need more voices that normalize literacy at the child's pace. P. s. The sensitive period for reading is 4.5-5.5 years. :) #ammatoday
Why doesn't my child finish the puzzle? Why can't Why doesn't my child finish the puzzle? Why can't my child flip the pages of the book? Why do they reject the toys and play with a box instead? Have you thought something like this ever? If you have, read on. Just because I don't see the point of their play yet, doesn't mean it does not exist. The point may be to repeat an activity for perfection, to bring joy, or to communicate an intrinsic developmental need. Do not let toy companies or social media or ads influence you on what appropriate play should be. What we can do, is 1.trust the child's inner drive, and respect all reasonable forms of activity they indulge in. Reasonable to my understanding means any thing that does not cause harm or hurt to themselves, others or their surroundings. 2. Observe the child not to judge, but to understand them. Instead of a why, or a statement, try asking, "what is my child trying to tell me?" May be the constant throwing tells me that they are in a trajectory schema and need redirection, or that they need loving limits. 3. Remind ourselves that there is no "one right way" to anything. Remind ourselves that we do not know everything. Remind ourselves that we're here to understand and follow the child, not mould a human into the prototype we have in mind. The funny thing about montessori is that we set out to support the child, but realize that we've ended up becoming a better person instead. These 3 things we do for the child, are continuous lessons to ourselves in having a learning mindset, inclusivity and humility. 💜 . . #ammatoday #ammatoday_montessori #montessoriathome #montessorishelf #montessoriindia #montessoritoys #montessorimom #playbasedlearning #independentplay #playmatters #learningmontessori #learningthroughplay #raiseareader #iteachtoo #earlylearning101 #parentcoach #parentingduringpandemic #montessoriplayideas #montessoribaby #montessoritoddler #montessorimaterials #preschoolhomeschool #indianmomblogger #honestlymothering #motherhoodishard
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