Parents often ask me how one can start montessori right from birth. I wish we had more resources in India about incorporating montessori principles during pregnancy and right from birth. Well, you know what they say, if you can’t find something you want, create it. Still navigating the postpartum fog from my second’s birth, this is precisely what I intend to do, the coming year.
What is the symbiotic period?
Biologically, symbiosis is a close, mutually beneficial, and mostly long-term relationship between 2 different organisms.The symbiotic period is the glorious 6-8 weeks after birth, also described as external pregnancy, where the parent and newborn retreat into a cocoon to understand and adjust to life together.
We must come to the conclusion that the first two years of life are a psychic creation rather than a growth … The acquisition of the first two years are miracles, but they depend on the child’s environment.
Many a time, right in between the whirlwind of kicks, screams and meltdowns, if we have the courage to pause, we realise something. We realise it isn’t about bad behaviour, or that chocolate or a bad day. And when we see that it is about revising expectations we are able to help our child better. Read on for definite ways one can use consequences to calm the chaos.
Embrace the chaos
I know this is easier said than done, especially in the early years where the tantrums just start appearing. But it is so liberating to embrace the chaos and look at it as the ahaa moment in parenting. Having a tantrum is a milestone, and when my child has a major meltdown with me, it only reinforces that she considers me her safe space to release all those big, scary feelings. More importantly, how we handle ourselves and help them through the process teaches her about empathy, and paves the way for self-regulation ( a skill we adults struggle with at times, as well.)
Meals are sacred times- to nourish our bodies as well as have a social interaction with people around us by eating together. We already know why force feeding ought to be avoided. But how does one encourage independent eating in young children? This is especially difficult in the Indian millenial setup. Here is what helped us, and what I recommend parents too.
Although this is about independent eating in children, the role of the adult is most important. Yes, there will be messes. Yes, the child may eat 3 bowls today and just 2 spoons tomorrow. It’s okay. What helped me was, reminding myself that my job was to offer, show, be patient and trust that V’s understanding of her body. My happiness is not linked to the size of V’s belly.
2. Dedicated eating area
Always have a dedicated area for mealtimes. It could be a weaning table or a dining table or a corner of the living room floor.… Click to read the rest